Jerry Murphy (pseudonym)
Secrets

        A wall exists betwen me and the world.  On one side of 

the wall are people who don't know I'm HIV positive.  On the

other side  are people who know.  And those that know are further

separated.

        There are the silent ones.  those who have left my life, if

not my thoughts.  Count my ex (well, he became my ex after he

found out).  Count my sister.  Count my best friend.

        Then there are the ones who stay and support.  If not for

them, my life would be much poorer.

        And now I'm struggling.  Do I keep this huge secret?  So

much I must hide.  Is it worth the effort?  But saying the words out

loud-that makes it more real.  And I think I've had enough reality for

one lifetime.

        Can I always conceal?  Maybe not.  But can't I face that

later?  If it worked for Scarlett, it can work for me.

        I want to hold on to my beautiful fantasies for as long as

possible.  Let the words remain unspoken.